i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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