He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
