can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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