Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
