i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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