oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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