i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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