no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
