I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize