...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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