if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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