i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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