glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
