So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
