do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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