I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I love having hate sex.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
