So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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