You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I feel like abortions should bother me more
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
