I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
