Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
