i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
