that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize