She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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