just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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