One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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