Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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