don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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