We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
