Welp...herpes.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
