she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
