He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
