The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
