its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
