the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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