wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
