he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
