He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
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Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
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Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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