have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
