if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
