I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
