I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
