He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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