I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
