I wish you could order shots online.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
