I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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