What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
