Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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