No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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