thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
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