Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize