I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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