if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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