apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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