Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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