it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
