did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
