it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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