she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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