I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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