i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
