So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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