whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
