I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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