My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
