i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
