am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
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