oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
