Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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