even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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