Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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