Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I can't turn off my feet"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Such a big mess for such a small penis
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
