I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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